A world of change!

On-off-on-off-on-off. That last one should be the last one. That is an accurate little model there though which I think is ridiculous. Lindsey and I broke up as I think you all know, and this ought to be the last time but I can't help feeling all doubty and sad but I'm pretty sure that's how it always goes... it's been a while though.

Anyways, I got new pictures and a new profile and was going to change my name and make a custom mood thing but I don't really feel like it anymore. All of this means I have time on my hands and I haven't in so long. It's oddly refreshing. That topped with extra money to save and not having to drive 40 minutes/60-80 minutes in the snow is making this deal seem rather appealing. We're still going to talk on Tuesday though so we'll see how that goes...

Speaking of Tuesday, I'll be getting my TB test checked up after they inject some stuff into my arm on Monday. CU is making me do it and it's really irritating because I had myself conviced I would never need to get a shot again.

Other than that, nothing too exciting is going on except that I'm absolutely freezing as is my cute little snake who is balling himself up under his artificial log and looks really gross because he is about to shed.

I feel bad about it but I hope this free time thing sticks.

The most retarded spark turned into a wildfire and now I'm single.

Although I knew this would be better a couple hours ago, the realization of it all is making me wonder if I was right.

My friends, I had a great day with you all today. I love that I can disappear for long amounts of time but when I come back you guys never mind giving advice and treating me like I was never a reclusive ass. I don't want to make an empty promise again, so I won't, but I love you guys and I definitely want to hang out more.

I miss all of you.

I will try to make an honest effort to call you guys, seriously, I missed ya's.

See you soon! (Sooner than six months this time, promise!)

"I'll have a lot more free time after school is out!"

HOWEVER: Went up to Gypsum on Sunday, stayed until last night (got home at midnight), worked in the morning; parents coming down tomorrow morning and staying until Sunday morning, then Sunday night were heading up to Gypsum until Thursday-fucking-night. I see no free time thar' and it makes me a little bitter.


Sorry friends, haven't seen you in a while, and I guess won't get to for a while longer...



Things that make it a little better:
-New Eminem CD
-Lindsey
-Being done with school
-Haircut?

There's just something ridicuolous about blasting 50 cent through some subwoofers AND drinking down a capri sun pouch at a stop light. :)

I'm also proud to say I'm the owner of the new pokemon game! :D I was sold when I saw that the strategy guide for it was 624 fucking pages! This game must be huge!

On another note, I'm starting to think I'm just imagining parts of my life, haha. There must be a world of suck on the way because things have been good lately. <-- I think this is a good point to remind everyone that I have had my ups and downs to the extreme lately; I've been alternating between optimistic and frustrated posts pretty consistently...maybe I'm pregnant?

I'm also 3 semesters away from being done with my prerequisites for school, so that is bad ass. If all goes well I'll be an intern in 2011, hoo-ray. I'll cross my fingers and strongly consider starting my 12 page paper that is due wednesday...yuck.

Off to bed for me, work at 7, ugh.

My best friend broke up with his girlfriend of four years and I haven't even talked to him about it. That's one of those things you do and then realize you're kind of not holding up your end of the bargain (and are an asshole).

~ ~ ~

...what a weird week. On second thought: what a weird month. Starting with my birthday, I've just been on an elevator of emotions: happiest I've been in a while, frustrated as hell, confused out of my mind, Claritin D-pressed, and guilt-ridden (but only about not seeing anyone). All of this may explain my constant exhaustion while none of this explains how whiny I feel like this post sounds.

Anyways, the moral of this post is that I hate when people play manipulative games, it's really starting to blow me away that no one is straight-up anymore. I am becoming one of the most distrustful people in the world because I have no clue whether someone is being genuine or just pretending or making shit up or being exclusive or being manipulative or being honest and it's driving me nuts. I hate distrust, but I really fucking hate dishonesty, and probably more than anything I hate not knowing which is reality.**

**That last paragraph does NOT concern Anna or Drew or any squabbles that may be going on there.


I hate to complain so much, but I would almost prefer a crash-and-burn to a total uncertainty.

...such an American. I have officially put my taxes off the very last minute and efiled them an hour and six minutes before the deadline. I guess I'm getting a hefty return for no reason at all though so that is nice because, damn! They take a mighty chunk out of my paycheck!

On a different note: I just now started to think I am allergic to bananas. Fuck that. I just ate one and my mouth is itching really badly just like it did every time I had an avocado before it got bad and my lips swelled up and became super bumpy for a good hour. No banana splits, no guacamole...I'd be the unhappiest Mexican Monkey.

...I didn't realize until tonight how weird it would be to have a thing going with my sister's best friend. It's the strangest of things to balance out, but it is worth it; that girl is a sweetheart.



...meanwhile, I have this looming guilt that I haven't seen many of my friends lately and I'm not sure why. I feel like I have a lot of time, but there always seems to be something which makes hanging out with people I haven't seen in ages (such as Sean Hope) a difficult thing to manage. Then again, I haven't seen anyone in ages, not even my number one bro from the east to the west sho'. Damn, sorry all! I'll figure it out!

...plus school is out in 4 weeks? Thank God; fuck this semester.

...keep happening in my life. Not really so much that they are really weird, but instead that I would never expect them to happen.

For instance: finding a new girl interest out of nowhere shortly after another one ends. She is 22 which gives me room to make the comment, 'I don't date little girls anymore.' Haha! :P

I am about to go pass the fuck out on my couch as I have banked a grand total of 5 hours of sleep for the past two nights (which were both unfortunately prior to 8 hour workdays that turned out to be really busy). Can't really complain though, I'm glad to have a job right now, especially since I just got a raise which is awesome.

All-in-all, I think things are still chugging along pretty well; we'll see if I can queue up some negative energy here with my relatively excessive amounts of happiness I've been experiencing lately.


...as a side note, I've also regained my ability to enjoy reading books and am debating whether or not the HP series would be worth it. Any votes?

...since I've posted, but since everybody is doing it more, I'll hop right in (like always, Ha!). I would write 'just kidding,' but I guess I do that too damn much.

Things have been falling into my lap these past couple weeks and it's doing nothing short of throwing me the fuck off (but I'll not be complaining any time soon).

I'd echo everyone in saying Modest Mouse was so wonderful, but holy damn!

Other than that, I bowled pretty damn well today despite my early failings that I displayed for Anna and Michael, heh. Beat my average every game, my team won all the matches and thus all four points for the league, and I ended my last game with a smooooth turkey in the tenth. I felt bad ass.

...and now I'm off to attend to my procrastinated homeworks.

...I get a kick out of 'punning' the shit out of my papers.

I just wrote a paper on the mise en scène in the boxing movie, Raging Bull.

It was titled, "Mise en Scène is no Bull"

The last sentence read,"Scorsese truly swung for the knockout on this film, and it would be nothing short of offensive to say that ‘cinema was not down for the count’ on this one."




:D I just thought that it was funny, it might just be because I'm glad to have gotten through my first essay this semester with no lateness or looming feeling that I just wrote a huge piece of shit.

Everyone probably forgot that I even ordered my camera because the damned thing didn't even arrive at the company for 30 days after my order was placed (which is bullshit).

So I decided to cancel it a couple days ago so I could order it at amazon despite the higher cost.

Turns out that a mere five days after I cancel, the fucking cameras showed up at the warehouse. what timing.

...so I've replaced my order, and it is due to arrive on Friday. I should be excited, but I can't help feeling that I'll never ACTUALLY get a nice camera.






So round up some ideas, because even though I feel negative as hell about the situation now, it will kick some ass later (FINALLY).

Excuse me for this short rant:

Lately, I've been wondering why an overall feeling of discontent sets in everytime I get a moment where my brain isn't being distracted.

On my drive back home, I was thinking about what could be causing this, and remembered something I said a while ago.

I said that I couldn't survive if < ... > and I realized that lately I've been feeling like < ... > is actually happening, and that is terrible, but I have no idea what to do.

[/end]


On a different note,

I saw Hancock and it was really good. Will Smith is awesome, and it always throws me off when people say otherwise.

I went to Ocean Journey for the first time today, and it was pretty cool if you can ignore the loud little kids and their overly-tolerant parents.

I realized that carrying a skateboard makes the entire world think you're a jackass even if you're nice to them.

...there's a nice camera on its way.

:D

It has been two and a half months since I last updated my lj, and it is pretty lame to say not much has changed, but alas, I have a fairly boring life.

...currently in Gypsum with no phone service in about 99% of the town, making the task of finding a cell pretty irritating.

However, I did manage to locate a wireless network which is fucking amazing considering the entire town sports only 3 intersections with traffic lights, no joke.

~ ~ ~

I spent today with my family destroying cans with high powered rifles. I have a bruise on my right shoulder from shooting my dad's 7 Mag and my SKS, which was pretty damn cool.

However, coming home only to discover a tick had attacked my left arm was nasty. My mom had to burn it with tweezers she held in a flame to kill it and then proceed to pry it off. I hate insects, and that just freaked me the hell out.

Yesterday my family had an intense ping pong tournament, which was later mixed with alcohol and became significantly less skillful, but still fun.

The day before yesterday I woke up to find my glasses snapped in two somewhat inexplicably on my bed. I'm not certian how I managed to do that, but I have another pair, so I'll get by.

~ ~ ~

Good:
~Music Mixing Software/Controller
~Bioshock
~Summer
~Concerts Coming Up
~Consumption
~Testosterone/Guns
~Ping Pong

Bad:
~Broken Glasses
~Ticks
~Irritants

~ ~ ~

I'm going to go ahead and throw in the terrible reference: I guess after the fun I had today, happiness really is a warm gun! :P

...and now it's done.

It's a relief, but I also feel pretty damn bad.

( Warning from Auraria Campus )

...I'm so glad to hear that this victim was not injured by that black man's penis. :P

There is a fatal flaw to depending on cell phone alarms waking you up: in your sleep they can be knocked behind you bed and suddenly become significantly less effective. Fuck that, but that is what happened today.

I'm on quite the roll having been late to work for the first time yesturday.

...Motion City Soundtrack brings back memories of biking around this summer, mostly to Hayden's for the play rehearsal (which includes the two scars on my arm, heh).

It's weird, remembering that shit, it is associated with the way I was feeling during the summer (was it two summers ago? I think so). Totally different than now despite having almost the exact same conditions.




Walk on forward, I don't want to take even one step back.

...that sounds pretty appropriate now, but I'll probably read it tomorrow and delete that shit, heh.

edit: Turns out it was actually 'Perfect Teeth,' that's kind of funny considering the lyrics about remembering and what not. :)

I woke up in the living room to a marathon of America's Next Top Model and proceeded to watch that until I had to give Drew a ride to work missing the last episode (which Anna filled me in on {Eva won, but I liked Amanda} ).

Drew forgot his phone, so I went and got it for him being that I have an unusually boring life lately.

Spent over 2 hours stuffing envelopes at Postnet with Drew and pretending to work there including greeting customers, heh.

Went to Target and bought The Boondock Saints.

Came home and rearranged my room, which took for-fucking-ever because I have about one million tangled cords lining the baseboards and polluting the back of my computer.

...which brings me to now, where I shall watch The Boondock Saints in a state that can be described as nothing short of absolutely confused.

Night.